operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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