dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
