so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You dont lie about slip and slides
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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