im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
