I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize