Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
