i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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