There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
