i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
