My first STD was from a foam party
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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