i was born a porn star she said
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
