i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
