we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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