I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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