I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
please come you make the beer taste better
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
