I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
