She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
