Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
