We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
