You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
