this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize