dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
