Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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