508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
