I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
