i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
