forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
