It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
