we have officially lost it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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