so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
