do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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