He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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