i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
