so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize