Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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