we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
