she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
