Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
