youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
