would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize