My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
