So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
