For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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