Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
