EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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