I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
