He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
