5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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