you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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