So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
