I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
