Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
