I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
