You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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