jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
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im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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