Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize