woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
