I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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