My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
