Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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