I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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