And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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