Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
