I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
