Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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