I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.