So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?