There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
vagina is talking i cant
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.