I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
