I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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